diff --git a/src/api/im/friend/index.ts b/src/api/im/friend/index.ts
index 229e37578..8f0d4613e 100644
--- a/src/api/im/friend/index.ts
+++ b/src/api/im/friend/index.ts
@@ -38,8 +38,11 @@ export const getFriend = (friendUserId: number | string) => {
 }
 
 // 删除好友（单向软删除）
-export const deleteFriend = (friendUserId: number | string) => {
-  return request.delete<boolean>({ url: '/im/friend/delete', params: { friendUserId } })
+export const deleteFriend = (friendUserId: number | string, clear: boolean) => {
+  return request.delete<boolean>({
+    url: '/im/friend/delete',
+    params: { friendUserId, clear }
+  })
 }
 
 // 更新好友信息（备注 / 免打扰 / 联系人置顶）
diff --git a/src/views/im/home/components/friend/FriendAddDialog.vue b/src/views/im/home/components/friend/FriendAddDialog.vue
index 7033db9c1..b837a6db1 100644
--- a/src/views/im/home/components/friend/FriendAddDialog.vue
+++ b/src/views/im/home/components/friend/FriendAddDialog.vue
@@ -148,7 +148,7 @@ const props = withDefaults(
     presetUser?: UserVO | null
     /** 添加来源；参见 ImFriendAddSourceEnum */
     addSource?: number
-    /** 来源附带信息：addSource=2（群聊）时传群名，话术拼为「我是 XX 群的 YY」 */
+    /** 来源附带信息：addSource=ImFriendAddSource.GROUP 时传群名，话术拼为「我是 XX 群的 YY」 */
     addSourceExtra?: string
   }>(),
   {
@@ -175,7 +175,9 @@ const message = useMessage()
 const currentUserId = computed(() => getCurrentUserId())
 
 /** 搜索结果过滤掉自己；用 v-if 而非 v-show，避免 DOM 占位 + 头像无效请求 */
-const visibleUsers = computed(() => users.value.filter((u) => u.id !== currentUserId.value))
+const visibleUsers = computed(() =>
+  users.value.filter((user) => user.id !== currentUserId.value)
+)
 const keyword = ref('')
 const users = ref<UserVO[]>([])
 const searched = ref(false)
diff --git a/src/views/im/home/components/user/UserInfo.vue b/src/views/im/home/components/user/UserInfo.vue
index 94ecb3b36..f4b11f24a 100644
--- a/src/views/im/home/components/user/UserInfo.vue
+++ b/src/views/im/home/components/user/UserInfo.vue
@@ -171,8 +171,8 @@
 </template>
 
 <script lang="ts" setup>
-import { computed, nextTick, ref, watch } from 'vue'
-import type { InputInstance } from 'element-plus'
+import { computed, h, nextTick, ref, watch } from 'vue'
+import { ElCheckbox, ElMessageBox, type InputInstance } from 'element-plus'
 import Icon from '@/components/Icon/src/Icon.vue'
 import { useMessage } from '@/hooks/web/useMessage'
 
@@ -373,16 +373,39 @@ async function handleUnblock() {
   message.success('已移出黑名单')
 }
 
-/** 删除联系人：confirm → friendStore.deleteFriend（内部级联清会话）→ 通知父级关浮层 / 清选中 */
+/** 删除联系人：弹自定义确认（含「同时清空聊天记录」选项）→ friendStore.deleteFriend → 通知父级关浮层 / 清选中 */
 async function handleDeleteFriend() {
   if (!props.user?.id) {
     return
   }
   const target = props.user
-  // 二次确认
-  await message.confirm(`确定删除好友「${target.nickname || ''}」吗？`, '删除联系人')
-  // 删除好友
-  await friendStore.deleteFriend(target.id)
+  const clearConversation = ref(true)
+  try {
+    await ElMessageBox({
+      title: '删除联系人',
+      message: () =>
+        h('div', { class: 'flex flex-col gap-3 text-sm' }, [
+          h('div', `确定删除好友「${target.nickname || ''}」?`),
+          h(
+            ElCheckbox,
+            {
+              modelValue: clearConversation.value,
+              'onUpdate:modelValue': (value: boolean) => {
+                clearConversation.value = value
+              }
+            },
+            () => '同时清空聊天记录'
+          )
+        ]),
+      showCancelButton: true,
+      confirmButtonText: '删除',
+      cancelButtonText: '取消',
+      confirmButtonClass: 'el-button--danger'
+    })
+  } catch {
+    return
+  }
+  await friendStore.deleteFriend(target.id, clearConversation.value)
   message.success('已删除好友')
   emit('deleted', target)
 }
diff --git a/src/views/im/home/pages/conversation/components/message/MessagePanel.vue b/src/views/im/home/pages/conversation/components/message/MessagePanel.vue
index 233b5b3b4..dc7f07702 100644
--- a/src/views/im/home/pages/conversation/components/message/MessagePanel.vue
+++ b/src/views/im/home/pages/conversation/components/message/MessagePanel.vue
@@ -63,6 +63,20 @@
           :group-id="conversationStore.activeConversation.targetId"
           @locate="handleLocate"
         />
+        <!-- 私聊：对方不再是好友（删了 / 被删了）；胶囊嵌在 header 内（跟群置顶同级），点击弹 UserInfoCard -->
+        <div v-if="showNotFriendBanner" class="message-panel__not-friend-container">
+          <div class="message-panel__not-friend" @click="handleNotFriendClick">
+            <span class="message-panel__not-friend-icon">
+              <Icon icon="ant-design:user-outlined" :size="11" />
+            </span>
+            <span>对方还不是你的朋友</span>
+            <Icon
+              icon="ep:arrow-right"
+              :size="12"
+              class="text-[var(--el-text-color-secondary)]"
+            />
+          </div>
+        </div>
       </div>
 
       <!-- 中间：消息列表 -->
@@ -150,6 +164,7 @@ import { useMessage } from '@/hooks/web/useMessage'
 
 import { useConversationStore } from '../../../../store/conversationStore'
 import { useFriendStore } from '../../../../store/friendStore'
+import { useImUiStore } from '../../../../store/uiStore'
 import { getMemberDisplayName } from '@/views/im/utils/user'
 import { useGroupStore } from '../../../../store/groupStore'
 import { ImConversationType } from '@/views/im/utils/constants'
@@ -167,6 +182,7 @@ defineOptions({ name: 'ImMessagePanel' })
 
 const conversationStore = useConversationStore()
 const friendStore = useFriendStore()
+const uiStore = useImUiStore()
 const groupStore = useGroupStore()
 const message = useMessage()
 const listRef = ref<HTMLElement>()
@@ -176,6 +192,32 @@ const isGroup = computed(
   () => conversationStore.activeConversation?.type === ImConversationType.GROUP
 )
 
+/** 私聊会话且对端不是有效好友（删了 / 被删了），顶部展示「对方还不是你的朋友」黄色横幅 */
+const showNotFriendBanner = computed(() => {
+  const conversation = conversationStore.activeConversation
+  if (!conversation || conversation.type !== ImConversationType.PRIVATE) {
+    return false
+  }
+  return !friendStore.isFriend(conversation.targetId)
+})
+
+/** 点击「对方还不是你的朋友」胶囊：打开 UserInfoCard，引导用户重新添加 */
+function handleNotFriendClick(event: MouseEvent) {
+  const conversation = conversationStore.activeConversation
+  if (!conversation) {
+    return
+  }
+  const rect = (event.currentTarget as HTMLElement).getBoundingClientRect()
+  uiStore.openUserInfoCard(
+    {
+      id: conversation.targetId,
+      nickname: conversation.name,
+      avatar: conversation.avatar
+    },
+    { x: rect.left, y: rect.bottom + 4 }
+  )
+}
+
 /**
  * 群聊 header 显示的人数：优先 groupStore.memberCount（无需等成员列表），无值再回退 members.length
  *
@@ -509,6 +551,42 @@ watch(
   color: var(--el-color-primary) !important;
 }
 
+/* 「对方还不是你的朋友」胶囊：嵌在 header 内（跟群置顶同级），不占整行；padding 跟群置顶 padding 对齐 */
+.message-panel__not-friend-container {
+  flex-shrink: 0;
+  display: flex;
+  align-items: flex-start;
+  padding: 0 16px 8px;
+  background-color: var(--el-fill-color-light);
+}
+.message-panel__not-friend {
+  display: inline-flex;
+  align-items: center;
+  gap: 8px;
+  padding: 4px 10px;
+  border-radius: 999px;
+  font-size: 13px;
+  cursor: pointer;
+  color: var(--el-text-color-primary);
+  background-color: var(--el-color-warning-light-9);
+  transition: background-color 0.15s;
+}
+.message-panel__not-friend:hover {
+  background-color: var(--el-color-warning-light-8);
+}
+/* 圆形小图标，深黄底色配白色 icon —— 跟微信一致的视觉锤 */
+.message-panel__not-friend-icon {
+  display: inline-flex;
+  align-items: center;
+  justify-content: center;
+  width: 16px;
+  height: 16px;
+  border-radius: 50%;
+  color: #fff;
+  background-color: var(--el-color-warning);
+  flex-shrink: 0;
+}
+
 /* sticky + translate 居中：fit-content 宽度不会撑满，transform 做水平 -50% 偏移；
    UnoCSS 表达 transform+transition 多 value 不太方便，这里用最小的 scoped CSS 承接 */
 .message-panel__jump-bottom {
diff --git a/src/views/im/home/store/friendStore.ts b/src/views/im/home/store/friendStore.ts
index 2b1393089..f21d240b2 100644
--- a/src/views/im/home/store/friendStore.ts
+++ b/src/views/im/home/store/friendStore.ts
@@ -53,6 +53,8 @@ export interface FriendNotificationPayload {
   displayName?: string
   muted?: boolean
   pinned?: boolean
+  // FRIEND_DELETE：是否级联清理本端相关数据（如私聊会话）
+  clear?: boolean
 }
 
 /**
@@ -142,7 +144,7 @@ export const useFriendStore = defineStore('imFriendStore', {
 
     // ==================== 远端拉取 ====================
 
-    /** 从后端拉取并覆盖本地列表；同步刷新对应私聊会话的展示名 / 头像 + 落 IDB；pending 期间复用同一 Promise */
+    /** 从后端拉取并覆盖本地列表（含 DISABLE 历史好友给已删对话兜底）；只同步 ENABLE 的会话信息，DISABLE 的不动 —— cascade 清会话由 WS dispatcher 按 payload.clear 处理，避免 fetchFriends 覆盖用户「不清空聊天记录」的选择 */
     async fetchFriends(force = false) {
       if (this.loaded && !force) {
         return
@@ -154,16 +156,17 @@ export const useFriendStore = defineStore('imFriendStore', {
         .then((list) => {
           this.friends = (list || []).map(convertFriend)
           this.loaded = true
-          // 同步 conversationStore 私聊会话的展示名 / 头像 / 免打扰
           const conversationStore = useConversationStore()
           for (const friend of this.friends) {
+            if (friend.status === CommonStatusEnum.DISABLE) {
+              continue
+            }
             conversationStore.updateConversation(ImConversationType.PRIVATE, friend.friendUserId, {
               name: getFriendDisplayName(friend),
               avatar: friend.avatar,
               muted: friend.muted
             })
           }
-          // 落本地缓存
           this.saveFriends()
         })
         .finally(() => {
@@ -195,27 +198,31 @@ export const useFriendStore = defineStore('imFriendStore', {
     /** 同意一条好友申请；后端会双向落库 + 推 FRIEND_ADD，本端等通知到达再 upsertFriend */
     async agreeFriendRequest(requestId: number) {
       await apiAgreeFriendRequest(requestId)
-      const request = this.findFriendRequest(requestId)
-      if (request) {
-        request.handleResult = ImFriendRequestHandleResult.AGREED
-        request.handleTime = Date.now()
-      } else {
-        // 本地列表没这条，按 id 单查兜底
-        await this.loadFriendRequest(requestId)
-      }
+      await this.applyHandleResult(requestId, ImFriendRequestHandleResult.AGREED)
     },
 
     /** 拒绝一条好友申请 */
     async refuseFriendRequest(requestId: number, handleContent?: string) {
       await apiRefuseFriendRequest(requestId, handleContent)
+      await this.applyHandleResult(requestId, ImFriendRequestHandleResult.REFUSED, handleContent)
+    },
+
+    /** 把 handleResult 应用到本地申请记录；找不到就按 id 单查兜底 upsert，避免破坏 id 倒序 */
+    async applyHandleResult(
+      requestId: number,
+      result: number,
+      handleContent?: string
+    ): Promise<void> {
       const request = this.findFriendRequest(requestId)
       if (request) {
-        request.handleResult = ImFriendRequestHandleResult.REFUSED
-        request.handleContent = handleContent
+        request.handleResult = result
+        if (handleContent !== undefined) {
+          request.handleContent = handleContent
+        }
         request.handleTime = Date.now()
-      } else {
-        await this.loadFriendRequest(requestId)
+        return
       }
+      await this.loadFriendRequest(requestId)
     },
 
     /** 拉取「我相关」的好友申请列表首页（页面打开 / 收到 FRIEND_REQUEST_RECEIVED 时刷新）；pending 期间复用同一 Promise */
@@ -290,10 +297,10 @@ export const useFriendStore = defineStore('imFriendStore', {
 
     // ==================== 好友关系操作 ====================
 
-    /** 删除好友（单向软删，本端置 DISABLE；级联清理本地私聊会话） */
-    async deleteFriend(friendUserId: number) {
-      await apiDeleteFriend(friendUserId)
-      this.removeFriend(friendUserId)
+    /** 删除好友（单向软删，本端置 DISABLE）；clear=true 时级联清理本地相关数据（如私聊会话），并透传后端给多端同步 */
+    async deleteFriend(friendUserId: number, clear: boolean = true) {
+      await apiDeleteFriend(friendUserId, clear)
+      this.removeFriend(friendUserId, clear)
     },
 
     /** 切换免打扰：同步会话的 muted 字段，避免会话列表 muted 图标等 1210 推到才更新 */
@@ -379,17 +386,18 @@ export const useFriendStore = defineStore('imFriendStore', {
       this.saveFriends()
     },
 
-    /** 本地标记删除（WebSocket FRIEND_DELETE 事件触发；同时级联清私聊会话） */
-    removeFriend(friendUserId: number) {
+    /** 本地标记删除（WebSocket FRIEND_DELETE 事件触发；clear=true 时级联清相关数据如私聊会话） */
+    removeFriend(friendUserId: number, clear: boolean = true) {
       const friend = this.getFriend(friendUserId)
       if (friend) {
         // blocked 不动，跟后端 deleteFriend0「删好友期间保留拉黑状态」对齐
         friend.status = CommonStatusEnum.DISABLE
         friend.deleteTime = Date.now()
       }
-      // 级联清理：把对应的私聊会话也软删，避免会话列表里留着已删好友
-      const conversationStore = useConversationStore()
-      conversationStore.removePrivateConversation(friendUserId)
+      if (clear) {
+        const conversationStore = useConversationStore()
+        conversationStore.removePrivateConversation(friendUserId)
+      }
       this.saveFriends()
     },
 
@@ -417,26 +425,16 @@ export const useFriendStore = defineStore('imFriendStore', {
 
     /** FRIEND_REQUEST_APPROVED(1201)：我的申请被同意；按 requestId 更新状态（FRIEND_ADD 会另外推） */
     applyFriendRequestApprovedNotification(payload: FriendNotificationPayload) {
-      const request = this.findFriendRequest(payload.requestId!)
-      if (request) {
-        request.handleResult = ImFriendRequestHandleResult.AGREED
-        request.handleTime = Date.now()
-      } else {
-        // 本地列表可能没这条（例如刚登录还没进 contact 页），按 id 单查兜底
-        void this.loadFriendRequest(payload.requestId!)
-      }
+      void this.applyHandleResult(payload.requestId!, ImFriendRequestHandleResult.AGREED)
     },
 
     /** FRIEND_REQUEST_REJECTED(1202)：我的申请被拒绝；按 requestId 更新状态 */
     applyFriendRequestRejectedNotification(payload: FriendNotificationPayload) {
-      const request = this.findFriendRequest(payload.requestId!)
-      if (request) {
-        request.handleResult = ImFriendRequestHandleResult.REFUSED
-        request.handleContent = payload.handleContent
-        request.handleTime = Date.now()
-      } else {
-        void this.loadFriendRequest(payload.requestId!)
-      }
+      void this.applyHandleResult(
+        payload.requestId!,
+        ImFriendRequestHandleResult.REFUSED,
+        payload.handleContent
+      )
     },
 
     /** FRIEND_ADD(1204)：新增好友；本端拉取好友详情并入库 */
@@ -444,9 +442,9 @@ export const useFriendStore = defineStore('imFriendStore', {
       void this.loadFriendInfo(payload.friendUserId)
     },
 
-    /** FRIEND_DELETE(1205)：好友被删除；本端清理 + 级联会话 */
+    /** FRIEND_DELETE(1205)：好友被删除；本端清理 + 按 payload.clear 决定是否级联清会话（多端跟主操作端一致） */
     applyFriendDeleteNotification(payload: FriendNotificationPayload) {
-      this.removeFriend(payload.friendUserId)
+      this.removeFriend(payload.friendUserId, payload.clear !== false)
     },
 
     /** FRIEND_BLOCK(1207)：拉黑；多端同步 */